and your years will never end.
Psalm 102:27
My mind is a jumble of thoughts that need to be "spewed" or "purged" out! And, as has been confirmed a few times yesterday, this is a good and healthy thing to do. So...here goes!
I am not perfect. I am not even close to being perfect. Ah, how refreshing :) Of course I already knew this, but sometimes people get these ideas of what someone else's life is like, and how they must feel and live, and see them as "perfect." I know I've got a couple of people in that category in my mind, but, alas, that only sets them up for disappointment in my mind. God does tell us in Matthew 5:48 to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect...but I don't know anyone who has truly reached that aside from Jesus Christ.
One of the biggest struggles I have I guess is having that transparent relationship with people, where they see the real you AND you see the real them. Sometimes it works half way, but half way just doesn't work...to build that trust, to lack the fear, and to have the confidence to have relationships like that is really difficult, but so necessary and beneficial. This is something I need but don't always feel I have.
It was interesting to look up the definition for transparent ... here is what I found...
1. having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.
2. admitting the passage of light through interstices.
3. so sheer as to permit light to pass through; diaphanous.'
I guess to think of having a transparent life and transparent relationships would really require THE Light of the World.(John 8:12)..so allowing Jesus to shine through us.
Sometimes I don't put God where He deserves to be, I put Him at my level instead of seeing myself in His eyes...praise God that He loves me despite my weaknesses, that His strength is made perfect in my weakness!(2 Corinthians 2:19) In the book Crazy Love I like what Francis Chan says..."If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop into my little can." (p.32)
Ok, so slightly scatted thoughts put together here, but...I need to be transparent, I need REAL relationships, I need Christ's light to shine, and I need to see through HIS perspective, not see Him through mine. I don't think that's where I was headed orginially, but that was a nice, refreshing journey right there....
