Momma Monday

I thought I could add my kids in her more regularly by having "Momma Mondays" some proud Mom moments :) 

Westport Fun Run 5 Km



One of Ryan's loves and gifts is athletics.  He is built to run, and play.  It has been really fun watching and encouraging him to build on his love this past summer and fall.  I think it was in August that we talked together about what he loves to do, and setting a goal for himself.  He really wanted to run in some type of race, we decided to start small and do a 5K.  Small for him seems impossible for me!  But anyway, he was running usually 2-4 times a week.  He had his own system, we went out with the car and marked off certain points at each km so he would know his distance.  He loves numbers as well, so each time he would time himself and chart the time and distance on a chart he had on the computer.  He was always striving to get farther, or to beat his time in the distance he was comfortable with.  I am so proud of how he really kept to it.  I mean, I know he loves to run, but he didn't always want to go out, he even ran a couple times on rainy mornings and afternoons.   

1 Corinthians 9:24 says,

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

I think of Ryan when I read this.  I think of his dedication and persistance.  He ran.  In October he ran the Westport Fun Run and did so great!  It was a different course than he'd been practicing, in the woods rather than by the road but with his training, he really did an amazing job!  I am so proud of him!  And, he feels a big accomplishment.  Maybe I'll have to get myself into gear and train with him for another run...maybe!  I sure can learn some things from this blessed boy that God has allowed me to parent :)

Even the Rocks will Cry Out!

We went on a beautiful hike yesterday to Rock Dunder with some families from church.  Our family loves this place, there are three different trails at different levels of difficulty.  The most difficult brings the most reward in terms of the view, so I opt to do that one as long as time isn't restricted!  This time there were six in our gathering that went to see the amazing view that God laid out for us.  It never seems to be less amazing, no matter how many times I go and see it. 
Tim was carrying a walking stick with him,  and kept pointing out a "burning bush" which was what looked like burned trees, but they still had the trunk and a few pokey branches on them, however Rachel, our fearless guide made sure we held pace (a very fast pace!) and kept moving in the front.  She was soon called Aaron, since he was Moses' helper of sorts.  Anyway, once we got to the lookout I asked, so, Moses, Aaron, what is our message from the Lord?  And my witty husband replied, as Jesus did in Luke 19:40,

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they (WE) keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

No one had much to say about that one, as you can imagine us looking out, perhaps we should have started to praise aloud, I know I was praising...rather quietly, my Majestic Lord.  It did make me stop and wonder, praise, and marvel at the Greatness of God.  And look at these trees, and the massive rocks that we were atop of, thinking that this, in all it's grandeur, is just a glimpse of Creator God's fingerprints.  It's so incredible.  

A Day with my Girl

This morning I didn't know what to do with Rachel.  I thought it would be nice to go somewhere, but we were both pretty zonked and just wanted to have a lazy morning.  It was SO nice, and so refreshing, just the two of us hanging out together.  We listened to music and did some scrapbooking, made some cookies and really truly just relaxed together.  It was uninterrupted and blissful really.  I guess I'm just feeling really blessed to have such a precious daughter and to have had such a wonderful time together with her this morning!

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

My kids aren't perfect, but I'm sure not either!  And that's good, because then we know, that God can change us to be more and more like Him!  But what good and perfect, even precious gifts He gives us.  Sometimes I overlook these gifts and dwell too much on other things.  But Praise God that He loves me and is patient with me, not shifting like a shadow, but constant in His goodness!

Possible

So, I realized only after I put that last post on there that it was quite similar to the previous post!  That certainly was not intentional!  Oh well...oh with things:) 

With Tim and I going through the process to adopt through CAS there have been a lot of emotional journeys as we both look back at what brought us to where we are not.  Also, that uncertainty and hope of what will come is a huge emotional journey in itself!  Last night we were talking after both having spent some one on one time with the social worker and I had a lot of hope, and a lot of faith - not to say Tim didn't but his was much more...conservative.  He gave his heart thoughts and hopes that wouldn't allow them to fail. 

In our short drive that was separate (after picking up the other vehicle at his mom's) I was slowly getting more discouraged in thinking that God's timing might be years and years away, as Tim always refers to Abraham and Sarah....but here's the cool part!  Tim was talking to God about all these things on his heart and God gave him a visual message.  There's a part in his truck that shows words, but only 2 words has he ever seen it show.  Last night, for the blink of an eye, he clearly saw the word "possible" and knew in his heart that, as Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, he was saying to Tim

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

I think it's just so amazing how God can speak with us, can refresh us.  This didn't give us all the answers we don't know the answers to, it didn't tell us anythign specific in terms of what we're going through but it sure did remind us to keep our ees on Christ and TRUST that He is who He says He is, and He is a God of the Possible!

pos·si·ble/ˈpäsəbəl/

Pasting on the smile :)

It's been a while since I've written anything on here.   A few things have been put into my computers memory never to make it to this page, but not enough typing and unloading what's been on my heart.  My recent struggle is with the perception of, what I'm going to call the outward appearance.  By this, I mean, that pasted on smile when things are broken and empty inside.  It's kind of a different way to look at 1 Samuel 16:7 

The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”


I have felt, all too many times, the fear that I am so alone.  I don't mean without God, but I mean without people.  Something Josh McDowell said last week, at a meeting in Kingston really stood out to me.  He said that Jesus is not all we need.  Certainly, for salvation, Jesus IS all we need.  But to live, we NEED people, we need, the body of Christ.  He pointed out examples in scripture as well to back this up, with the disciples, even during the missionary journeys they were teamed up and truly sought fellowship with other believers.  But...what I'm getting to is, sometimes that fellowship only seems to go to the point of "outward appearance."   It is so wonderful to know that God knows my heart, that He knows the things that I struggle with, the loneliness I feel.  He knows what brings me joy and peace.  There are, however, so many times when I just long for more of that in my relationships everyday.  That closeness that goes beyond the appearance and gets deep into the heart where hurts and pains get dug up so there is room for growth.  Part of the difficulty there is making myself vulnerable, and open to not only be loved, but be hurt.  To realize that these hurts and pains I have, others have too. To know that people will fail me, as I have failed others.  Praise God!  That He never fails us, that His love us never ending, that He knows our hearts, and that He really does provide all that we need, when we need it.  
There have been so many times that I have cried out to God, please Lord, bring me someone, anyone, I feel so alone.  And He does.   

So, all in all, I'm not perfect, I'm a sinner saved by grace.  I hurt.  I need people, I need that body of believers.   I've been learning more and more what that means.  Coming to the cross for forgiveness and love is the hope that we have in life.  Holding each other up, and putting others before ourselves brings that joy and comfort, knowing we're not alone.  As I continue to learn and grow, it seems the pain of feeling let down doesn't get easier, but maybe that's a good thing, so I can see the importance of it from the other side.  Also realizing once again that God is consistent, never failing, and always looking at our heart.  He loves and shows us how to love.

A look at the heart

1 Samuel 16:7

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

I wish I could look at the heart, automatically, without looking at any outward appearances.  Praise God that He looks at our heart....although sometimes that's not quite where it should be...but He is gracious, I'm learning God's grace. 

A lot of times when I hear this passage being talked about it is referenced to age, and not being too young to live for God, or too old in the same way....but, regardless of age, we as humans, at least I, as a human, find it very difficult to think and look first at the heart of someone or even something as more important or more quickly than the outward appearance.  I'm even thinking of a mango...kind of strange but I was getting groceries and mangos are so tricky because all you can see is the outward appearance...you can feel if it is tender or not, but sometimes it is too tender and you can't tell the difference, or it feels tender, but it's really not the best it can be yet!  I haven't yet mastered the art of finding the perfect mango, but when I get one...ohhhh it's so good :)

Anyway, I think about that with people sometimes, and how such different personalities can really either let you in, or really leave you with an impression that may not be what is really on the inside.  I know myself, I sometimes seem very quiet and reserved, and sometimes I certainly am!  But people who really know me, often think the opposite, that I'm not very reserved, a strong leader and...not very quiet!  I don't necessarily try to behave or act differently, it's just a different comfort level, or something, I haven't quite figured myself out yet...but I'm glad that God knows who I am, He sees my heart and it doesn't really bother Him if I'm having a bad hair day or my clothes don't match or I really can't think of anything to say, He knows my heart and He loves me.

This is something I really want to do.  I really want to love like God loves, to love and know people's hearts and not judge by outward appearances!  Ah this journey.... :)

Soak it Up

Deuteronomy 32

 ¹ Listen, you heavens, and I will speak;
   hear, you earth, the words of my mouth.
² Let my teaching fall like rain
   and my words descend like dew,
like showers on new grass,
   like abundant rain on tender plants.
 ³ I will proclaim the name of the LORD.
   Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
⁴ He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
   and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
   upright and just is he.

Everything seems so fresh and new...aside from the fallen trees and some power outages...but the smells, the sounds, the breeze, it's all crisp and clean.  My garden is well watered, the heat has subsided, and God is GOOD.

Sometimes storms can be troubling, stressful, perhaps make us feel anxious, but it's that peaceful calm after the storm, the smells, the fresh, crisp, clean air that overtakes everything so beautifully. 
I don't really know where I'm going with this aside from, God's ways are perfect, there are storms, and there are calms, if His teaching falls like rain, we need to soak it up for all it's work and GROW from it!  God IS faithful and He does no wrong, His name is to be praised!  PRAISE GOD!

Am I growing? Am I soaking up the teaching from God that He pours down like rain?  Sometimes His teaching is so gentle, and other times, like todays storm, it comes violently, rushing and blowing with intensity that gets our attention!  God longs for us to desire Him, to Know Him, so Serve Him, to Love Him...we must soak Him up so we can Grow, so we can Love...praise God for His goodness, praise God for His grace!