James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Saturday, 5 November 2011
A Day with my Girl
This morning I didn't know what to do with Rachel. I thought it would be nice to go somewhere, but we were both pretty zonked and just wanted to have a lazy morning. It was SO nice, and so refreshing, just the two of us hanging out together. We listened to music and did some scrapbooking, made some cookies and really truly just relaxed together. It was uninterrupted and blissful really. I guess I'm just feeling really blessed to have such a precious daughter and to have had such a wonderful time together with her this morning!
James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
My kids aren't perfect, but I'm sure not either! And that's good, because then we know, that God can change us to be more and more like Him! But what good and perfect, even precious gifts He gives us. Sometimes I overlook these gifts and dwell too much on other things. But Praise God that He loves me and is patient with me, not shifting like a shadow, but constant in His goodness!
James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
Possible
So, I realized only after I put that last post on there that it was quite similar to the previous post! That certainly was not intentional! Oh well...oh with things:)
With Tim and I going through the process to adopt through CAS there have been a lot of emotional journeys as we both look back at what brought us to where we are not. Also, that uncertainty and hope of what will come is a huge emotional journey in itself! Last night we were talking after both having spent some one on one time with the social worker and I had a lot of hope, and a lot of faith - not to say Tim didn't but his was much more...conservative. He gave his heart thoughts and hopes that wouldn't allow them to fail.
In our short drive that was separate (after picking up the other vehicle at his mom's) I was slowly getting more discouraged in thinking that God's timing might be years and years away, as Tim always refers to Abraham and Sarah....but here's the cool part! Tim was talking to God about all these things on his heart and God gave him a visual message. There's a part in his truck that shows words, but only 2 words has he ever seen it show. Last night, for the blink of an eye, he clearly saw the word "possible" and knew in his heart that, as Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, he was saying to Tim
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I think it's just so amazing how God can speak with us, can refresh us. This didn't give us all the answers we don't know the answers to, it didn't tell us anythign specific in terms of what we're going through but it sure did remind us to keep our ees on Christ and TRUST that He is who He says He is, and He is a God of the Possible!
With Tim and I going through the process to adopt through CAS there have been a lot of emotional journeys as we both look back at what brought us to where we are not. Also, that uncertainty and hope of what will come is a huge emotional journey in itself! Last night we were talking after both having spent some one on one time with the social worker and I had a lot of hope, and a lot of faith - not to say Tim didn't but his was much more...conservative. He gave his heart thoughts and hopes that wouldn't allow them to fail.
In our short drive that was separate (after picking up the other vehicle at his mom's) I was slowly getting more discouraged in thinking that God's timing might be years and years away, as Tim always refers to Abraham and Sarah....but here's the cool part! Tim was talking to God about all these things on his heart and God gave him a visual message. There's a part in his truck that shows words, but only 2 words has he ever seen it show. Last night, for the blink of an eye, he clearly saw the word "possible" and knew in his heart that, as Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, he was saying to Tim
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
I think it's just so amazing how God can speak with us, can refresh us. This didn't give us all the answers we don't know the answers to, it didn't tell us anythign specific in terms of what we're going through but it sure did remind us to keep our ees on Christ and TRUST that He is who He says He is, and He is a God of the Possible!
pos·si·ble/ˈpäsəbəl/
Monday, 31 October 2011
Pasting on the smile :)
It's been a while since I've written anything on here. A few things have been put into my computers memory never to make it to this page, but not enough typing and unloading what's been on my heart. My recent struggle is with the perception of, what I'm going to call the outward appearance. By this, I mean, that pasted on smile when things are broken and empty inside. It's kind of a different way to look at 1 Samuel 16:7
The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
I have felt, all too many times, the fear that I am so alone. I don't mean without God, but I mean without people. Something Josh McDowell said last week, at a meeting in Kingston really stood out to me. He said that Jesus is not all we need. Certainly, for salvation, Jesus IS all we need. But to live, we NEED people, we need, the body of Christ. He pointed out examples in scripture as well to back this up, with the disciples, even during the missionary journeys they were teamed up and truly sought fellowship with other believers. But...what I'm getting to is, sometimes that fellowship only seems to go to the point of "outward appearance." It is so wonderful to know that God knows my heart, that He knows the things that I struggle with, the loneliness I feel. He knows what brings me joy and peace. There are, however, so many times when I just long for more of that in my relationships everyday. That closeness that goes beyond the appearance and gets deep into the heart where hurts and pains get dug up so there is room for growth. Part of the difficulty there is making myself vulnerable, and open to not only be loved, but be hurt. To realize that these hurts and pains I have, others have too. To know that people will fail me, as I have failed others. Praise God! That He never fails us, that His love us never ending, that He knows our hearts, and that He really does provide all that we need, when we need it.
There have been so many times that I have cried out to God, please Lord, bring me someone, anyone, I feel so alone. And He does.
So, all in all, I'm not perfect, I'm a sinner saved by grace. I hurt. I need people, I need that body of believers. I've been learning more and more what that means. Coming to the cross for forgiveness and love is the hope that we have in life. Holding each other up, and putting others before ourselves brings that joy and comfort, knowing we're not alone. As I continue to learn and grow, it seems the pain of feeling let down doesn't get easier, but maybe that's a good thing, so I can see the importance of it from the other side. Also realizing once again that God is consistent, never failing, and always looking at our heart. He loves and shows us how to love.
The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
I have felt, all too many times, the fear that I am so alone. I don't mean without God, but I mean without people. Something Josh McDowell said last week, at a meeting in Kingston really stood out to me. He said that Jesus is not all we need. Certainly, for salvation, Jesus IS all we need. But to live, we NEED people, we need, the body of Christ. He pointed out examples in scripture as well to back this up, with the disciples, even during the missionary journeys they were teamed up and truly sought fellowship with other believers. But...what I'm getting to is, sometimes that fellowship only seems to go to the point of "outward appearance." It is so wonderful to know that God knows my heart, that He knows the things that I struggle with, the loneliness I feel. He knows what brings me joy and peace. There are, however, so many times when I just long for more of that in my relationships everyday. That closeness that goes beyond the appearance and gets deep into the heart where hurts and pains get dug up so there is room for growth. Part of the difficulty there is making myself vulnerable, and open to not only be loved, but be hurt. To realize that these hurts and pains I have, others have too. To know that people will fail me, as I have failed others. Praise God! That He never fails us, that His love us never ending, that He knows our hearts, and that He really does provide all that we need, when we need it.
There have been so many times that I have cried out to God, please Lord, bring me someone, anyone, I feel so alone. And He does.
Saturday, 11 June 2011
A look at the heart
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”I wish I could look at the heart, automatically, without looking at any outward appearances. Praise God that He looks at our heart....although sometimes that's not quite where it should be...but He is gracious, I'm learning God's grace.
A lot of times when I hear this passage being talked about it is referenced to age, and not being too young to live for God, or too old in the same way....but, regardless of age, we as humans, at least I, as a human, find it very difficult to think and look first at the heart of someone or even something as more important or more quickly than the outward appearance. I'm even thinking of a mango...kind of strange but I was getting groceries and mangos are so tricky because all you can see is the outward appearance...you can feel if it is tender or not, but sometimes it is too tender and you can't tell the difference, or it feels tender, but it's really not the best it can be yet! I haven't yet mastered the art of finding the perfect mango, but when I get one...ohhhh it's so good :)
Anyway, I think about that with people sometimes, and how such different personalities can really either let you in, or really leave you with an impression that may not be what is really on the inside. I know myself, I sometimes seem very quiet and reserved, and sometimes I certainly am! But people who really know me, often think the opposite, that I'm not very reserved, a strong leader and...not very quiet! I don't necessarily try to behave or act differently, it's just a different comfort level, or something, I haven't quite figured myself out yet...but I'm glad that God knows who I am, He sees my heart and it doesn't really bother Him if I'm having a bad hair day or my clothes don't match or I really can't think of anything to say, He knows my heart and He loves me.
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Soak it Up
Deuteronomy 32
1 Listen, you heavens, and I will speak;hear, you earth, the words of my mouth.
2 Let my teaching fall like rain
and my words descend like dew,
like showers on new grass,
like abundant rain on tender plants.
3 I will proclaim the name of the LORD.
Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
4 He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he.
Everything seems so fresh and new...aside from the fallen trees and some power outages...but the smells, the sounds, the breeze, it's all crisp and clean. My garden is well watered, the heat has subsided, and God is GOOD.
Sometimes storms can be troubling, stressful, perhaps make us feel anxious, but it's that peaceful calm after the storm, the smells, the fresh, crisp, clean air that overtakes everything so beautifully.
I don't really know where I'm going with this aside from, God's ways are perfect, there are storms, and there are calms, if His teaching falls like rain, we need to soak it up for all it's work and GROW from it! God IS faithful and He does no wrong, His name is to be praised! PRAISE GOD!
Monday, 16 May 2011
It's the little things ... that make a difference... :)
Matthew 6:31-32Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
Ok, so I really like to be doing things, to have projects and...sometimes, I'll admit, do too much, anyway, that's for another time. I finished teaching music lessons for the year last Thursday, had the final recital on Friday and thought oh no! Now what am I going to do! (besides homeschool, teach and hang out with Lilly our exchange student from Korea, do youth group and the highschool group, etc....) so, I thought, Hey! I'll renovate the kitchen! Great idea right?!!! Tim of course was thrilled! Ha...but he actually did get on board and ripped the counter tops off...(wasn't in my plan....) so, we're doing the kitchen...up to our elbows, so to speak, in the work load....no stove, fridge is in a different room, barely a table, floors are covered with cupboard doors in three rooms....ect....and I realize...I can't bake! I can't cook very much....but I can't bake! We bake quite a lot in our home, cookies, bread, muffins, granola, something, anything! So, I tried to remind myself, it's ok, you wanted to do the kitchen, it won't be forever, not baking is OK!
But here's the cool part, where God just shows His love, His overflow...Philippians says, "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." and I KNOW baking is not a need...but it's according to HIS riches, and anyway, His overflow today. So, someone came to my house just after 12PM with a bag of cookies, she was intending to give them to another family but they had already left (sorry Crumps...they are good:) and thought we might enjoy them - of course they are Rachel's favourite cookie! I was amazed at how God gave us these just after I thought I couldn't bake...but there's more! Tonight we went to a Pampered Chef party and I was picking Kourtney up and her mom said, hey, we made you some cookies, for your family! Now Matthew isn't very fond of ginger cookies - the previous ones, but these were chocolate chip - his favourite! How wonderful is God to bless so abundantly at times when we don't need or deserve anything, but just because He loves us.
And how great it is too when we are obedient to Him. Sometimes we don't know the impact our obedience to Christ has on others. It doesn't often seem like a big deal for us to give a friend/neighbour some cookies, but to them, it may be a sign of God's abounding love!
I must end with the lyrics to a JJ Heller song, since her music fills our home.
Little Things
There are not enough minutes in the day
I am crippled by the thought of wasting time
I don’t have enough money to heal the poor
So I don’t want to try
But it’s the little things that make a difference
It’s the little things that show love
It’s the little things
A simple cup of water that can change the world
That can save our sons and daughters
I’ll be praying for the widow all alone
Sewing clothes for a loaf of bread
It is not my fault that she is hungry
It’s my joy to make sure she’s fed
CHORUS
We are all related, children of the King
We may not have much, but what we have we bring
Ok, so I really like to be doing things, to have projects and...sometimes, I'll admit, do too much, anyway, that's for another time. I finished teaching music lessons for the year last Thursday, had the final recital on Friday and thought oh no! Now what am I going to do! (besides homeschool, teach and hang out with Lilly our exchange student from Korea, do youth group and the highschool group, etc....) so, I thought, Hey! I'll renovate the kitchen! Great idea right?!!! Tim of course was thrilled! Ha...but he actually did get on board and ripped the counter tops off...(wasn't in my plan....) so, we're doing the kitchen...up to our elbows, so to speak, in the work load....no stove, fridge is in a different room, barely a table, floors are covered with cupboard doors in three rooms....ect....and I realize...I can't bake! I can't cook very much....but I can't bake! We bake quite a lot in our home, cookies, bread, muffins, granola, something, anything! So, I tried to remind myself, it's ok, you wanted to do the kitchen, it won't be forever, not baking is OK!
But here's the cool part, where God just shows His love, His overflow...Philippians says, "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." and I KNOW baking is not a need...but it's according to HIS riches, and anyway, His overflow today. So, someone came to my house just after 12PM with a bag of cookies, she was intending to give them to another family but they had already left (sorry Crumps...they are good:) and thought we might enjoy them - of course they are Rachel's favourite cookie! I was amazed at how God gave us these just after I thought I couldn't bake...but there's more! Tonight we went to a Pampered Chef party and I was picking Kourtney up and her mom said, hey, we made you some cookies, for your family! Now Matthew isn't very fond of ginger cookies - the previous ones, but these were chocolate chip - his favourite! How wonderful is God to bless so abundantly at times when we don't need or deserve anything, but just because He loves us.
And how great it is too when we are obedient to Him. Sometimes we don't know the impact our obedience to Christ has on others. It doesn't often seem like a big deal for us to give a friend/neighbour some cookies, but to them, it may be a sign of God's abounding love!
I must end with the lyrics to a JJ Heller song, since her music fills our home.
Little Things
There are not enough minutes in the day I am crippled by the thought of wasting time
I don’t have enough money to heal the poor
So I don’t want to try
But it’s the little things that make a difference
It’s the little things that show love
It’s the little things
A simple cup of water that can change the world
That can save our sons and daughters
I’ll be praying for the widow all alone
Sewing clothes for a loaf of bread
It is not my fault that she is hungry
It’s my joy to make sure she’s fed
CHORUS
We are all related, children of the King
We may not have much, but what we have we bring
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Transparent
27 But you remain the same,
and your years will never end.
Psalm 102:27
It was interesting to look up the definition for transparent ... here is what I found...
and your years will never end.
Psalm 102:27
My mind is a jumble of thoughts that need to be "spewed" or "purged" out! And, as has been confirmed a few times yesterday, this is a good and healthy thing to do. So...here goes!
I am not perfect. I am not even close to being perfect. Ah, how refreshing :) Of course I already knew this, but sometimes people get these ideas of what someone else's life is like, and how they must feel and live, and see them as "perfect." I know I've got a couple of people in that category in my mind, but, alas, that only sets them up for disappointment in my mind. God does tell us in Matthew 5:48 to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect...but I don't know anyone who has truly reached that aside from Jesus Christ.
One of the biggest struggles I have I guess is having that transparent relationship with people, where they see the real you AND you see the real them. Sometimes it works half way, but half way just doesn't work...to build that trust, to lack the fear, and to have the confidence to have relationships like that is really difficult, but so necessary and beneficial. This is something I need but don't always feel I have.
It was interesting to look up the definition for transparent ... here is what I found...
1. having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.
2. admitting the passage of light through interstices.
3. so sheer as to permit light to pass through; diaphanous.'
I guess to think of having a transparent life and transparent relationships would really require THE Light of the World.(John 8:12)..so allowing Jesus to shine through us.
Sometimes I don't put God where He deserves to be, I put Him at my level instead of seeing myself in His eyes...praise God that He loves me despite my weaknesses, that His strength is made perfect in my weakness!(2 Corinthians 2:19) In the book Crazy Love I like what Francis Chan says..."If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop into my little can." (p.32)
Ok, so slightly scatted thoughts put together here, but...I need to be transparent, I need REAL relationships, I need Christ's light to shine, and I need to see through HIS perspective, not see Him through mine. I don't think that's where I was headed orginially, but that was a nice, refreshing journey right there....
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